|You don't have to be perfect to be an awesome parent.|
Have you ever just had one of those days where no matter what you tried to do, it just wasn't right? Those sorts of days always start off with the best of intentions, but somewhere throughout the day you just say screw it. Today was that day for me. It started off really great, I kissed the husband goodbye when he left our portable hotel home and went to work, from there it was all down hill.
It dawned on me, last night, in the hotel, we are THOSE people. As the baby was screaming at top of his lungs and it was 11 o'clock at night, we are the ones that people cannot stand. We are the ones that most people stare at in the restaurant while youngest chucks food at us and middle child is singing us some new song she learned. Oldest is typically hunched in the corner wishing on everything that we are about to tell him he is really adopted, and he has no real ties to this insane family. The husband and I are typically rolling with the punches and making the best of it. Getting pissy does no good, so we generally just don't do it anymore.
It is road trip season again. This means, if you have more than one child and you are driving more than ten feet down the road, you will hear fighting in the car. Siblings tend to find anything to pick on each other about. The husband and I can vouch for this first hand. We have also found an amazing way to combat it.
There are just some days I can't wait until they are over so I can wallow in annoyance with myself and everyone I came into contact with that day. More often than not it just turns into me feeling like a really bad person and a horrible mom. Today was one of those days.
It wasn't one specific thing or even many things that made today so absolutely awful when I look back. In the end, it is how I feel about myself as a mom and a wife.
I couldn't keep it together long enough to listen to middle child rant about me being wrong. I should have calmly told her that she needed to use a lower tone and nicer words. Instead, I ignored her and dismissed her point of view. I am usually so good at it, and today I just couldn't. In the end, I made middle child feel bad and I feel like a failure.