The first time I saw her I fell in love all over again. I knew the feeling because of oldest child, and I didn't think my heart could possibly hold anymore love. It could, and it did. When I met her she was absolutely beautiful and she still is. 
     Middle child is the exact opposite of me. I am a tomboy and she is the epitome of a girly girl. She loves nail polish and makeup. Her favorite color is pink and she adores anything with glitter. I like understated beauty and glitter makes me itch. Raising middle child is a challenge. 

     Before middle, I never gave much thought to how much effort went into raising a girl. I just really, really wanted one. I wanted all of the frilly dresses and pink shoes. I wanted her to be everything that I wasn't. The thing is, I didn't realize that she would expect me to do all of it too. It never dawned on me that this child would want me to change how I dressed or learn to paint fingernails. I didn't expect her idea of fun to be getting pedicures when I abhor anyone touching my feet. I just wanted to dress her up and make her look pretty. I wanted the bows and horseback riding lessons. I wanted her to be independent and secure. I never wanted her to doubt herself.
     Instead, as she got older, I learned what having a girl was all about. She made me into more of a girly-girl. I now look at jewelry because she likes to and I can paint nails like a pro. Middle meets me half way though. I have taught her to enjoy the outdoors and love camping. She has learned to find beauty in nature and the world around her. Our personalities are completely different, but we teach each other. 
     It makes me smile to think that my ten year old still teaches me about life, but she does. I really believe that as parents our children can teach us a lot, we just have to be open to listening. Children are wise beyond their years, at times. You just need to be humble enough to hear the lessons. Most of the time, our kids are full of shit, especially when they are whining and crying. But every once in a while, they have a moment of brilliance. 
     Middle is my girl. She has really come around in the past year and talks to me much more. It is hard to explain, but before that I was just her mother. I am sure she loved me, but we sort of just co-existed. In the past year, she has really started to connect with me on a different level. We talk so much more and have mommy-daughter conversations. I know that for many moms this isn't a huge deal, but for me it is the entire world. It is the breakthrough I have been waiting for with middle child. I have always loved her so incredibly much, but now I feel like it is reciprocated. For a child like middle, that is very difficult. But, I know she tries hard to make me feel loved, and that means the world to me. To her, it is so unnatural to just have a two way conversation. So when she asks me how my day was,
I know that it is a million times harder for her than it is for me. 
     Middle child will always be my little girl, just like all my kids will always be my babies. It pains me to see her grow up. I know that the years coming will be difficult for her. I also know that I will be here for her every step of the way.


09/21/2014 11:20pm

Hey sweetie it looks like second last paragraph cuts off mid sentance

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